I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
