that's an acceptable place to lick
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
