i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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