he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
