He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
