Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
