If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish i was in the wii world.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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