Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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