dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
