I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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