she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
