Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
