You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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