I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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