so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize