It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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