wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
