Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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