Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Randomize
