Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
