Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
