..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
