As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're too hungover to prance.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
