I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
