I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
