So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
