So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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