My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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