Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
