when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize