I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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