Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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