i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i need to put some appletini on your dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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