I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize