Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
