when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
