Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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