We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
