I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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