just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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