my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
