Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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