I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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