im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
