He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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