D3 body, D1 cock
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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