is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
