it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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