You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
