the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
