True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
