if you like me you must not know who I am
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
