I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
