Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
