I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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