No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
