Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
