well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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