he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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