You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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