Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
