I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
