babies were throwing up all over the place
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish i was in the wii world.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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