there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
