yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
How's work?
Spinning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
